One of those days…

Did you ever have one of those days where everthing just seems wrong somehow? Like every person you know is being unreasonable (including yourself), and everything you try to do is hounded by annoying coincidence after coincidence. You have a number of things you could be doing, but can’t think of anything you want to do, or are allowed to do. You are broke and you know it. Nothing is fun. There’s not enough time for anything, and you have to go do something real soon…

The world is just plain stupid.

I really can’t stand it and I don’t know why. I’m angry and that worries me because I’ve got nothing to be angry about. I mean, there are a lot of little things – I have an entire internet course I’ve been putting off that I need to start, I could finish up the other one, I could clean my room, I could work, I could write code for this intolerable posting system, I could finish up some projects I’m working on, I could go for a walk. But wait, I have excellent reasons not to do any of it. I lack the concentration to do any coursework, or I think I do and therefore I do. It is too warm and humid for any physical labor without more ventillation in my room and I can’t afford that. Can’t rely on my parents to help either or they will think I’m using them for money. WHY? Because I didn’t visit home enough or call enough and then I decided to get married in a town other than my home town. So I’m walking on eggshells with my parents. And Lauren’s parents are another exaserbating circumstance altogether, but I can’t rightly get into that.

I’m sick of people smoking. I’m sick of the way the government is being run, but there is no alternative for me. Every single one of the candidates that could possibly change the current leadership believe that women should not have to deal with the consequences of their actions to the point of killing the result. Confound it, in most every instance of pregnancy it’s the woman’s decision to have sex. THAT is a woman’s choice. NOT killing the baby they created by being foolish. Then if they don’t want the child, THEY PUT IT UP FOR ADOPTION. “Oh, but it’s too emotionally straining blah blah…” HOW CAN THEY BE SO SELFISH? HOW CAN SO MAY PEOPLE IGNORE THE FACT THAT IT IS A HUMAN LIFE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT?

Why are rich kids so selfish and rude? Why don’t parents ever take responsibility for their foolish decisions? Because it’s hard to face the fact that you screwed up. And the fact is they never mean any harm (usually…). Often they are just trying to do what’s best, but it turns out what’s best isn’t authoritarian at all. Whoops! Now my kid can’t make decisions on his own.

I’m also sick of what churches are becoming. A gay bishop? How can a church; ANY church allow people who are openly gay to be leaders of the church? Completely ignoring what the Bible has to say about it. Oh geez, it was just a suggestion. BULL CRAP!!! God doesn’t say things if he doesn’t mean it. Do you know what sin is? It is man not trusting in God’s word. It’s not so simple as “sin is breaking the 10 commandments” and trying to weasel what God really meant and how it cannot make sense; it means when man starts deciding that he knows better than God. God’s commandments were not written in the imperative – they were not commands. What? They were statements of fact. Analogous to our physical laws like gravity and inertia, they are statements of how things are. God said “people do not kill other people.” He did not say “You there! Do not kill people or face my wrath!” It is a statement of the order of the world God created, and sin causes man to question that order. Sin causes man to stop believing God. For example, a parent tells their child that people do not jump out of windows. The given consequence is that you will fall. If a child questions their parents and jumps out of a window, the consequences are clear – pain and possibly death.

The consequences are exactly the same with God’s laws. The difference is that He sent his son to take the fall for us. We don’t have to suffer and die in hell for our actions, so long as we believe, repent, and are baptized. That’s really not so bad.

But NO! Man cannot accept that gift. For some sick reason, man would rather twist God’s word than admit wrongdoing. So suddenly no homosexuality and no sex outside of marriage were just suggestions to stop the spread of disease at the time, but are obsolete now. That is disgusting. That is man denying the Word of God, denying God’s forgivenes, and therefore taking his sin onto his own shoulders. Guess what? Man cannot carry his own sin. That is, he goes to hell, plain and simple. What can he do? Easy! Accept God’s gift of forgiveness and all it entails – believing God’s word.

So I’m sick of churches, I’m sick of smokers, I’m sick of drunkards, murderers, spoiled rich little brats. What else?

Oh how about a money grubbing school that put itself in a bad place through poor decisions, and is making the students suffer because of it. Putting an administrative hold on an account because of 3 CENTS??? That is the stupidest darn thing ever. Or how about ignoring the student polls regarding the childish intervisitation policy (no people of one gender in the other gender’s room after 11:00pm or before freaking NOON!!!). Or the fact that the morons in security close up the main building at 5 on fridays (or that they close it at all) requiring you to walk outside through the snow or rain or whatever to get change for laundry, or to get to the computer labs. They could just leave it open. It would mean they couldn’t watch movies all night though.

Or how about the cafeteria that will not change their disgusting pizza sauce and during the summer gives the stupid camps SIGNIFICANT quality priority over the summer workers. Or the cougar den – the retail food place that has abysmal hours, closing at 10:30 even though the school website still says they are open till 11:30; closing at 2:00pm on friday (or is it 1?) and NOT BEING OPEN AT ALL ON THE WEEKEND BECAUSE OF THE LAZY CRAP THAT WORK THERE.

Or the student bank, which has decided that counting money to cash checks and give change it too hard on their fingernails, so they’re not going to do it anymore. Ot that when it’s 3:25 and you need change they won’t give it because they close in 5 minutes and have already started counting down the drawers… ALTHOUGH THE OFFICE WILL BE OPEN FOR THE NEXT HOUR. In fact, the sign on the door which they are too lazy to change still says that the Student Bank hours are till 4:30.

I have to go eat so I am done ranting for now. I feel a little better though.

Well, the tides of health have shifted, and again for Michelle. She went to the hospital for a check-up and they discovered that the fluid around her heart was greater than it had been. The doctors had ner admitted immediately, although we found out later it was for their own peace of mind. They were going to perform a pericardiectomy (that is, they were going to cut a hole it the pericardium – the sack surrounding the heart) in order to drain off the fluid. Traditionally, this procedure required the surgeon to crack open the rib cage and go at it from the inside. I’m not so sure as Michelle would have handled that… but it is no matter. The doctors chose to to it Laparoscopically. This means that rather than crack her open, they insert a small camera and the instruments through holes in her abdomen. The procedure was successful – nearly 200ccs of fluid were extracted and they cut a 3-inch hole in the pericardium. This should prevent any future fluid buid-up.

Michelle is recovering well. She’s still grumpy, but there were no complications during or after surgery as yet. She was even allowed to go home on thursday.

I’d classify this as good news myself.

Apparently, Michelle is getting better. The steroid therapy they’ve been using seems to be working. Looks like I’m just overreacting…. 😀

Deviatone is in limbo once again, etc

I finally completed the Deviatone Independent study project, but alas it came down to a 6-week incomplete and an 8 page paper (single spaced). I still have grand plans for Deviatone, and I hope to finish it someday, but with my schedule as tight as it is, it will not be soon.

In other news, my sister Michelle is in the hospital. If you know much about her, you know being in the hospital is not a huge deal. However, this time is a bit different. She has too much fluid around her heart, and fluid in her lungs to the point that she needs oxygen to keep from turning quite blue. From what I understand there are / were a couple of theories: A virus, arthritis or who knows. They ruled out the virus, and are stucking with ‘who knows’ for now, but my parents and I are thinking it looks more like a Rheumatoid Arthritis complication. It would go right along with some other unusual inexplicable symptoms she has been having lately.

What does this mean? Frankly, nobody knows. Many a doctor have asked my parents about their Resuscitation plans, leading me to wonder if this might be the beginning of the end. Michelle has well outlived her initial life expectancy, and has been our family’s little bundle of joy for (I think) 23 years. While my Mother and Father have not mentioned it (in fact my Mom is speculating about when Michelle will get to come home), I’m wondering if she will survive this. Perhaps I am just being paranoid. Only time will tell. Just keep her in your prayers, ok?

Finally, to help my other sister’s cause, I am now hosting her art website, House of Shuler. Have a look around. She plans to redo the site fairly soon too, so keep an eye out.

Thanks for reading!


Hail to the Thief

The new Radiohead cd, Hail to the Thief, came out yesterday. I was one of the first people to get it, and I must say I’m glad I did. For those unfamiliar with Radiohead or the sound of the new cd, try downloading tracks such as “There there”, “2+2=5”, “Backdrifts”, and “Where I End and You Begin” (some of my favorites off the album).

On a random note, I also reccommend “Godspeed You Black Emperor!” aka Godspeed, which is an absolutely amazing group that thrives on orchestral rock. Many tracks have fantastic builds and are a true musical experience, but lack any vocals, which might throw some people off of it. Check out anything off the album “Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven”.

What song is this??

Where is a midi file of a song I heard which was quite awesome. It was an opera song, and then a techno remix sort of thing. This is totally from memory and I wouldn’t be surprised if I jumped parts or missed notes, or screwed up cadence, but there was a man and a woman singing in the opera version and I think the name might start with an ‘R’.

Here is the file. Listen and help me out.


Update: I found the ruddy thing!

The original song was:

Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli — Time to say goodbye

The techno song was by Dj Visage called “The Return”

I got lucky. I grabbed a bunch of techno opera songs off Kazaa, and to my delight I heard it. And my memory wasn’t too bad at it either.


At last! News!

After discovering that the class Computer Architecture was… well… not exactly what I needed this semester I dropped it and took on an independant study in php. The main project for this course will be the production of the RabidMonkey audio system, or rather the back-end.Eventually, it should support secure users, custom templates, sessions, all that goodness and joy. I shall get things going on the RabidMonkey section shortly. I have a methods course to finish up.

Somebody remind me to fix the time on SENews…

Birthday and Christmas List

Well, here it be. My christmas and / or birthday list. It’s got as much as I could think of today. Based on the old one, updated of course. I removed the digital drabble too. It was long.


Ok here is the problem. All direct file sharing programs or online collaborative programs puke when both users are behind a firewall, or quite possibly a NAT. This mean that Lauren, who is behind WMU’s firewall cannot send files to me, behind CURF’s firewall or vice versa. This also means that I cannot use the whiteboard to help her with homework or send her pictures in Instant Messenger. I have tp upload anything here then she downloads them from here.

I think the next project may be the creation of a collaborative whiteboard system, probably designed with math in mind. This whiteboard would run on the web server and could be used by more than one person. Two is the requisite.

If anybody knows of such a system, which works regardless of firewall settings, please let me know! post a message in the forum or email me. Otherwise I will start looking into writing one myself.